Help save Big Mike's life

$82,186 of $120,000 raised

raised by 1033 people in 2 years

Verified campaign
Campaigns bearing the verified badge have submitted documents testifying legitimacy of their cause. The Chesed Fund has vetted these documents as authentic.

As an 8 year old child, I learned far too young how terrifying and cruel this world could be. I wasn’t afraid of the villains in my books or the boogey man under my bed. I feared someone much more terrible...

 

He was someone that I respected and trusted; someone whose job it was to keep me safe. His actions caused me much pain; beyond what a person should ever feel. For four years, I was abused by him.

 

He stole from me everything a child holds dear: innocence, trust in others and everything deemed pure and holy to childhood. I was left broken. Loneliness and sorrow were all I knew from that point on. Over 32 years later, those experiences and their residual feelings still haunt me.

 

He was a pedophile and unfortunately, I was his victim. Parts of myself were forever taken away from me by him.

 

Every victim learns survival coping mechanisms; as a young adult I turned to drugs and alcohol to numb my pain. I didn’t feel safe talking to the adults in my life. Self-medicating with street drugs gave way to a full blown addiction.

 

Addiction took over my life for almost twenty years. When I was finally able sober up, I wanted to repay the people who had helped me along the way. They responded to me with the same sentiment: “Pay it forward.” I turned that phrase into my life’s work.

 

I vowed never to let anyone else become a victim as I did. I knew that I couldn’t stop all of the evil things which occurred in the world, but I could dedicate myself to undoing the damage that abuse inflicts.  

 

For over a decade I succeeded, putting my own needs and those of my family aside. I would be there anytime, anywhere, for anyone. I bore the weight of all their pain: abuse, neglect, rape, addiction, and abandonment. Thousands of men, women, teens, and even children needed my services. While working privately as an Addictions Counselor in Jerusalem, I gave group therapy at several different Yeshivot. I volunteered my time in and around the downtown Jerusalem area.

 

In 2012 I opened up the Jerusalem Sober House, an in-patient addiction treatment facility. For over four years dozens young men came through our doors and I treated each one as family. I kept late nights waiting to make a phone call to America in order to get someone the best care and would run out of the house at all hours to deal with an emergency.

 

However, as time went on, the pressure increased and my personal and professional relationships suffered, and then fell apart. I wound up on a ledge with the intention of jumping off but I didn’t, thank God. I am so grateful to my friends who were there to pull me back; to save my life. to help me get the help I so desperately need. During that dark time in my life I caused people I cared about deep pain for which am profioundly sorry for. Eventually I found myself at a fork in the road of my existence.

After that I couldn’t pretend that everything was okay. So began my journey inflicted with mental illness for which I had never been diagnosed. I spent two and a half months in an inpatient facility, away from my family and everything that made me feel safe, and received several different combinations of medication and alternative therapy. As the finances ran out, I had to leave. Coming out more stable than when I went in I was still hardly functional.

 

Six months and two psychiatrists later, I was diagnosed with C-PTSD. It was such a relief to finally have a name and a set of symptoms to describe what it was that I was experiencing. My diagnosis gave a context to my irrational fears, flashbacks, constant nightmares, insomnia, agoraphobia, unstable emotions and panic attacks. Now my family and friends could understand my triggers and help me manage them more effectively.

 

PTSD is a mental disorder that can develop when a person is exposed to a traumatic event that triggers an over-reactive and maladaptive response to fear. The biochemistry of the brain changes and a “trigger” will cause the victim to experience the traumatic event as if it is re-occurring!

 

C-PTSD (Complex) occurs as a result of repetitive, prolonged trauma involving harm or abandonment by a caregiver or other interpersonal relationships with an uneven power dynamic. The main distinction of C-PTSD is that it distorts a person's core identity.

 

My wife and I have spent more than a year trying to put in place a proper treatment plan. We have not been successful and I am not able to function. Many people in my situation unfortunately don’t make it very long, taking their own lives in order to stop the constant pain. I still hold on to every day for everyone who I have brought back from the brink, for my family who I love with all of my heart, and for me. I am worth life and I am worth help.

 

Now the time has come for me to take the next step in my efforts toward recovery. My family has been through enough. And so we are relocating to America where there are more treatment options for me.

 

There is one particular facility in Florida that specializes in treating PTSD and could be life-saving for me. A three month stay, which is what they have recommended for me, costs $120,000. I am now turning to you for help in raising this life-saving money which would impact greatly upon my life and that of my family and will, please God, help me feel whole and stable again. I thank you in advance for any help you are able to offer me and wish you much health and happiness.

 

Big Mike Gondelman.  

 

;
$82,186 of $120,000 raised

raised by 1033 people in 2 years

Created by

Michael Gondelman
June 2017

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Donations

Naftali Hisiger donated

2 months ago $18.00
In honor of Naftali Hisiger

Leland Marcus donated

9 months ago $1,000.00

Anonymous donated

11 months ago $18.00
In memory of Morris Court

Anonymous donated

11 months ago $18.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00
In memory of Morris Court

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $36.00

Shatz donated

1 year ago $50.00

Robert Airley donated

1 year ago $200.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00
In memory of Morris Court

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $400.00

Guy Rakover donated

1 year ago $25.00
In honor of Clara leah bat hana

Eli donated

1 year ago $100.00
In honor of My Fam. Bigmike.

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00
In memory of Morris Court

Mo English donated

1 year ago $180.00
In honor of Big Mike's Bravery and outstanding work within the Jewish community.

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00
In memory of Morris Court

Riva Pomerantz donated

1 year ago ₪100.00

Daniel Sklar donated

1 year ago $100.00

Joseph Golovanoff donated

1 year ago $36.00
In honor of Eldonsky keep up the good work Mike

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00
In memory of Morris Court

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00

Anton Goloub donated

1 year ago $36.00

Yechiel Lavonski donated

1 year ago ₪380.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00
In memory of Morris Court

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $540.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $10.00

Neil Amrani donated

1 year ago $100.00

Esther Garfinkel donated

1 year ago ₪200.00

Michelle Kunzmann donated

1 year ago $25.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $100.00

Yaniv Kovalski donated

1 year ago ₪200.00
In memory of N.k. & T.H.

Yoni Lebovits donated

1 year ago $20.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $100.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $36.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago ₪800.00
In memory of Sorah Chana bas Naftali A’’H (Sherry Dimarsky)

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $150.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $54.00

Sandor Milun donated

1 year ago $50.00
In honor of Big Mike. A legend!

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $36.00

Michael Feigin donated

1 year ago $450.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago ₪50.00
In honor of Yitzchak ben chaya sara

Yisroel Gershbaum donated

1 year ago $162.00
In honor of The big yellow one

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $200.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $180.00

Robert Wolf donated

1 year ago $100.00

Aryeh Berenbaum donated

1 year ago $100.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $54.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $10.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $10.00

Yaakov Weissmann donated

1 year ago $18.00
In honor of Josh Goldberg

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $20.00
In memory of Yitschak, Sarah, and Pasha

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $2.00
In memory of Y.M. Ben Y.I.

Anonymous donated

1 year ago ₪36.00
In honor of Morris Court

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00
In memory of R Nachman ben feiga

Batsheva And Zevi Reinitz donated

1 year ago $18.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $36.00

Meira Ovadia donated

1 year ago ₪36.00

Josef Rubinstein donated

1 year ago ₪50.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $10.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $200.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $4.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $10.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00

David Charlop donated

1 year ago $100.00
In honor of Keep doing your magic, Big Mike

David Menter donated

1 year ago $10.00
In honor of Abused children

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $20.00
In memory of fridah bas hirshel

Akiva Pill donated

1 year ago $100.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $100.00

Chaya Guttman donated

1 year ago $18.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $10.00

Mitchell Coopersmith donated

1 year ago $75.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $180.00

Alan Baklor donated

1 year ago $18.00

Sabrina Levy donated

1 year ago ₪500.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago ₪500.00

Tammy Schaum donated

1 year ago $100.00

Yehuda Cohen donated

1 year ago $100.00
In honor of Big daddy..... love u man

Michael Hasson donated

1 year ago $126.00
In honor of Vittorio Ben Chariya

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $100.00
In honor of Big Mike and all that hes done for everyone else. May all those efforts come back and grant you full health in all areas.

Brad Whitman donated

1 year ago $1,000.00

Daniel Ozeri donated

1 year ago $18.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago ₪1,000.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $50.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $18.00
In memory of Moshe ben Chaim Avraham

Barbara Goldin donated

1 year ago $50.00

Brent Adams donated

1 year ago $20.00

Josef Rosen donated

1 year ago $20.00

Tunie Dweck donated

1 year ago $180.00
In memory of Selim Dweck

Eli Abbott donated

1 year ago $180.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $180.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago ₪36.00
In memory of אלחנן גדליה בן שמואל לייזר

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $50.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $36.00

Aharon Wexler donated

1 year ago $50.00

Ulpan-Or donated

1 year ago $180.00
In honor of Ulpan-Or

Joshua Flaks donated

1 year ago $20.00

Anonymous donated

1 year ago $72.00
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